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Wakeup and smell the denial

No matter who you are, there eventually comes a time when you avoid the mirror. Perhaps you have said something horrible to your co-worker (the one whose been driving you up the wall). Maybe you are lying to your spouse or to your friend about why you “it’s another late night at the office.” Or maybe you just find yourself thinking about yourself—and only yourself.

Regardless, when those days come, when you can hardly stand to hold a mirror up to your heart, the best thing you can do is to face your image head on. What do you see? Why are you hurting? Why do you do hurtful things? Why do you get snappy, lose your temper, gossip, whine, or mope? Or why do you feel everyone else is to blame for your situation? And why are you repeating the same pattern over and over again?

Sometimes things get messy before they get clean. Only when we face our weaknesses, those horrible things that make us feel so guilty, can we find healing and grow into someone more kind and beautiful. If we cannot name our weaknesses and problems, we are probably living in denial. We need to wake up. Sometimes we just need to stop sweeping all the little (or big) lies or hurtful comments or un-acted good deeds under the rug and face the fact that we have a lot of soul work to do. We need a transformation.

You can’t kick your dog and still say you are loving. You can’t tell a half-truth without lying. You can’t be generous and loving without giving up yourself, losing yourself in the moment and to others. There is so much more to being a “good person” than just being good at your job, thinking about the right things, or having the right plan for your life. We need to live it. We need to live an audacious kindness, a generous goodness that doesn’t have an agenda.

And this can’t happen until we are honest with ourselves when we’re down.

“Don’t kick me when I’m down,” is a phrase that won’t help us get anywhere. When we’re down we need to be real about what we’ve done. We need to apologize. We need to take steps—even baby steps!—toward climbing out of the darkness and into the light of really caring for those around us. You may feel very vulnerable. But since when is vulnerability bad?

Tyler Blanski & Sherri Rosen, Sherri Rosen Publicity, NYC

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This entry was posted on Monday, July 18th, 2011 at 7:19 pm and is filed under Clients, Friends and Colleagues. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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