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Anger that loves

Anger that Loves 

Anger can be used in the wrong way or for the wrong reasons. It can be misused, abused, or recklessly handled. But anger has it’s place. Though it often is corrupted and degraded into violence, abuse, or insults, being angry is an important part of being human.

For example, when we hear about the injustice around the world or a local shop owner we know is robbed, it is a good and just thing to be angry about it. When a friend is cheated or a river is thoughtlessly polluted, it is appropriate to get angry. The alternative is apathy—and apathy is the last thing we should feel.

Anger is an integral part of living life awake to the reality of good and evil that fills every day. Anger itself isn’t a bad thing. It’s what we do with our anger that counts. 

If a person has a sense of maturity and mindfulness about expressing and articulating their anger in a positive and constructive way, it can be beneficial to everyone. Proactive and loving anger can work things out, find solutions, and solve problems. But if a person misuses their anger, it can be poisonous and hurtful—not only to others, but to the person who is angry. If someone always feels like a victim and lashes out at others it will only damage relationships, hurt people, and ultimately isolate us from one another. 

But anger does not have to be malicious or wounding. Sometimes it can be a wake up call or a loving exhortation. For example, some people are in such deep denial that the only way to wake them up is anger (like that memorable scene in the film “Moonstruck” where Cher’s boyfriend is acting like a complete jerk and she slaps him and says “Wake up you fool!”). Anger can be a constructive force for good. But we must be loving and temperate. We must be gentle and severe. We must not let our anger get the better of us. Rather, we should work to patiently and lovingly point it toward the good.

  We can help people to wakeup with our loving anger, but if they aren’t ready to take in what we are saying than perhaps it’s time to walk away lovingly.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, May 26th, 2012 at 10:28 am and is filed under athlete, Clients, Friends and Colleagues. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “Anger that loves”

  1. Becky Blanton Says:

    Sheri, so true! Many of us who were raised with anger, inappropriate anger, express and respond to others as we learned. We never understand how our anger affects others. Learning to OWN our anger and to express it appropriately becomes one of our greatest life lessons, and one of our most challenging since people don’t like to think about or talk about anger. I’m glad you wrote this and hope you write more about it. Directing our anger in a personal way at people we disagree with – attacking them in anger, isn’t helpful. Learning to listen and walk away, or respond calmly and kindly is an indication we recognize we are separate from them…anger, I think, is the most powerful teacher in the universe. It points us to love, to humility, to pride, and to all manner of lessons if we’ll just listen and learn. So thank you for sparking that dialogue!

  2. Lorraine Esposito Says:

    Emotions are our teachers. All of them.

    Negative emotions are our indicators of those things we have yet to learn or deal with. Anger is always about the way something can affecting you.

    When you’ve learned what you need to learn, or have dealt with whatever got triggered, you are able to respond appropriately to things knowing that you control the degree that something can affect your life. Your thoughts and behavior aren’t distracted.

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