Phone: (917) 699-1284

Raising children as a single parent

For whatever reason you are a single parent raising children is a huge challenge!

Perhaps you just decided to have a baby on your own, through a sperm cell donor, divorce, death of a partner, it ain’t easy.  If you don’t have a powerful support system in place either with financially hiring people, family doesn’t get along, parents don’t get along, or absentee father or mother, it can be a b*tch.

When I made my  decision of splitting my l3-year  marriage with 2 young children to take care of, it was mainly because of an absentee father.  I felt totally responsible to now not only be the mother but the dad as well.  As a result I’ve always wanted to be their for my children, but I forgot, who was going to be there for me.  As a result, It has been a consistent in my life until just recently, that the deal of partnership in whatever form, works both ways.

It’s not  helpful  for children to see one parent doing everything and taking responsibility  for everything.  It doesn’t give the right message about family and working together.  Of course if a mom or dad is in the picture and is supportive, it makes much less of a strain, but only if both are on the same page.  Kids have a bullsh*t detector when the truth isn’t there.

Plus, if one parent remarries and the children are in different households and there are different messages being given, it can get totally confusing.  My children didn’t like their father’s 2nd wife, and whenever they came back from being with them, it would take days for them to calm down their aggression.  His 2nd wife was mean to my children, so it was difficult to even allow the children to visit, but I did not want to stop them from having a relationship with their dad-absent or not.

Most of us don’t have great role models in our own families growing up.  Some of us might not even had access to our mother and father for whatever reason.  So usually one has to learn the hard way in child rearing.  Hopefully, there will be enough kicks in the butt to wakeup if we are doing the wrong thing on behalf of  our children.

I truly don’t know how my kids feel about my child rearing abilities now that they are grown, because at times I was crazy, made bad decisions, but through it all, one thing that was a constant, they always knew I loved them and would never abandon them.

Bookmark and Share

Tags: , , , , ,

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 14th, 2012 at 4:43 am and is filed under Friends and Colleagues. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply




  • Google Plus Link
  • Twitter Link