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Giving Compassion To Myself & Others

I know, I know, this sounds crazy doesn’t it? “Giving compassion to myself and to folks who allow fear and dishonesty to rule their lives.” But it is so very true.

These folks are many, some come in and out of my life, I love them and I also see they will not change. These folks don’t come out and say “fear and dishonesty
rule my life!” I see it in the way they interact with me. One incident would be when let’s call him Sam who agrees with me that trying something new like a new healing
which I am involved in, and I in the process ask Sam if he wants me to setup an appointment for him with this new healer and myself and then when Sam and I try to agree upon a date, there are none.
Sam is busy each date I recommend and has so many excuses that it is exhausting. So the message comes through clearly to me, that somehow fear has set in and I just let it go and tell
Sam that to let me know when he can definitely make an appointment to try this new healer. What I am seeing is this is becoming a pattern with Sam. So instead of getting angry
with him, I feel compassion for myself and Sam. I cannot confront him with the truth when he isn’t even aware that he is fearful or not telling me the truth.

Then there is Bethany. She and i have known one another for a long time. I realize that when we are together everything tends to become more difficult, more obstacles,
more excuses, I am on my own a lot and if nothing else the one thing I try to do is keep my life simple both in business and in my personal life. So when Bethany comes in and
out of my life many times I find I am exhausted and I am angry at her. Why? Because she does not have the ability to be able to tell me what’s bothering her. As a result a lot
of weirdness comes out, a lot of hiding, and then I get angry, confront her, she apologizes for not being straight. But me finally realizing this is her pattern. She is not going
to change and I have to let go of my anger and send compassion to her and to myself.

I thought at one point that it was my children that were my teachers about accepting them the way they are and not the way that I wanted them to be. And they have taught me this,
without them even knowing it. But I realized just the other day that I have so much more work to do. There are so many more people such as the 2 I mentioned above that are in and out
of my life and they aren’t going to change. When I first realized this I was shocked, and also realized that my anger at them was not going to help myself or them. This is their stuff,
not mine. The best I can do is send them love and compassion, because I was getting myself exhausted by not accepting them as they are and getting angry at them. Realizing what we all
needed was compassion.

On a larger scale I realized that there are so many people that allow fear and dishonesty to rule their lives and they aren’t even aware of it. If I happen to interact with these folks I am
always expecting the truth and fearlessness, to come through but it doesn’t. In the past it has caused me great pain because of my expectations and because my feelings of peacefulness
had been erupted. So in my curiousness of finding out why I was so angry and exhausted dealing with these folks, I realized once again it was my expectations of wanting them to be
different. Another example: I was in a big NYC hospital for testing for an upcoming surgery for myself. The last 2 people I had to see was an anesthesiologist and a medical doctor
who would give the final okay when viewing all of my records. While sitting with 2 specialists it was very difficult for me. The anesthesiologist had the personality of a dead fish, and me thinking to myself
while he is talking to me (“no wonder he chose a profession where he would put people to sleep so he doesn’t have to talk much”) and the other doctor being very somber and his last parting words to me were “you know this surgery is very painful.” What! Do I need to hear this? These are the folks that are working with my body! My high expectations were not met and it was very disappointing
and frightening to me. Again realizing this called for compassion for myself and the 2 doctors. Everyone was just doing their job and it wasn’t going to be about the 2 doctors knowing how to talk
to me. As far as they were concerned they had done their job.

Since 9/ll happened and we as a country have become so much more aware of terrorism on our home front and throughout the world, and so much more aware of the violence in our own
country and in the world, I see how fear rules people’s lives-them always talking about the bad things in the world, even if it is to the point of the weather, negativity about their lives and their
day to day routine, and feeling as though they have lost their ability to connect with any kind of joy in their life. I know for me personally, I don’t watch the news for too long, and I try to
be positive about my life and about being alive because, again, I don’t want fear to rule my life. And, it’s a strange thing, the more I connect to joy the more I see how unhappy so many
people are. That makes me sad and I know the best thing I can do is give myself and others compassion. As Plato once said “be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”


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This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 13th, 2015 at 4:36 pm and is filed under Friends and Colleagues. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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