We’ve been in this thing for over two years.  Plus 4 years before that we had the scariest and evilest human as President. Over 900,000 people died in our country. Each variant gets scarier and scarier. Just when I take a break, relax a little, go to a theatre, meet friends, another variant breaks out. And here we are right after Christmas and with this new variant it feels like it’s as of this moment peaking in NYC. Some folks are choosing to stay in, folks with school children have to make their own personal decision, and what happens if the parents are penalized because they’ve decided to keep their children home even though schools are open? My feeling is we all need to make our own intuitive decisions for ourselves while keeping ourselves and others safe.

I’m scared, feel hopeless, but that doesn’t mean I give up! I know I’m resilient, but I also realize these times are taking the life force out of many people and they either have given up or are in denial.

I’ve been invited to different activities.  Should I go? Should I stay home? Lots on my plate because I don’t want to get sick and I don’t want to infect others. I know I am going to get tested a few days before I see family and a few days after. I’ve suggested they do the same. But now I have an opportunity to perform my solo storytelling show in Brooklyn Heights for a small, intimate group in a safe space. As  I said I make most of my decisions intuitively and when I accepted to perform it felt right and safe and it still does.

 

How do I keep my sanity through all of this? I’m sure some of you are asking the same question of yourself. First, what’s helped me get out of myself with Covid and variant scares has been creating this solo storytelling show of true stories of my past called “turning point”.  I’ve showed in each story that no matter what tragedy or difficulty I’ve been faced with I always turn things around, using it as a lesson and turning it into inspiration. What I’ve done so far is performed the piece on Zoom and as I said I’m am now taking my show on the road to perform it in front of a live audience, and I can’t wait!  What I like to do is after the performance have a question and answer period. This gives people more opportunity to connect to me personally through my stories.  It’s helped me so much from ruminating just on me. Yes, I am taking care of myself, and this is one of the main ways i’m doing it.  I also plan to write more stories that actually have to do with my personal covid experiences and maybe the experiences of others.

 

I belong to this online activism group and i’ve been with the woman in charge for over 5 years. Brilliant, single woman,used to be a high profile lawyer, but now  has her own coaching firm plus has 2 sites on political activism, which I’m part of, sole provider of her 2  5 and 7 year old kids, who four years ago moved from downtown Brooklyn to Orange County, Ca. I’ve seen by her own admission, what a tole it’s taking on her and her children, not being able to be with her close family in Pa, and locking herself in her home because feeling these are the choices for her and her family.  It feels as though she is totally traumatized, and my heart goes out to her, but sometimes I cannot listen to her podcasts because they are full of doom and gloom.  By doing this, not listening, I’m taking care of myself, because this doom and gloom truly triggers me. I realize that we are in dire circumstances but I don’t want it to paralyze me or stop me from living and fighting.

I’ve lost friends during Covid. Some who died and others who don’t believe in the vaccine, and other friendships just fading away. One friend, Amy Rosenberg, died January 13, 2021, of Covid and I’m doing my performance in Brooklyn Heights in her honor.

A few weeks ago a friend of my granddaughters,who’s also my friend, came from Philly to NYC to stay with me. We saw Caroline and Change and it was my first theater experience in 2 years and we had a wonderful time. It felt fabulous to be in a Broadway theatre!

Here I am 2 weeks later, invited by a friend to a musical event and then to dinner, but do I go? Because the media is ramping up again with this new variant to stay home. I was supposed to be with my family over Christmas but it all fell apart because, two days after my granddaughter stayed with me she tested positive for Covid. I self quarantined, tested, and amazingly, anyone of us who came in direct contact with my granddaughter didn’t test positive.

It’s heartbreaking that my country has the largest amount of deaths compared to other civilized countries throughout the world.  It feels like we’ve gone mad!

Plus our political situation has come to a head and our democracy is collapsing. It’s power, greed, money, white supremacy and truly not caring about one another. The destruction of our democracy has been happening for years.

I personally belong to some activist organizations but we all know that it has to take a majority of us to revolt and change the system from within and make it work for all to have real and powerful change. This pandemic is showing me how little we take care of ourselves and others.

I’ve changed dramatically during this pandemic , and my life has changed dramatically. Meaning I’m learning the truth about our history of America, and how this country was built on the backs of slavery. Something I wasn’t taught in school.  And I’m truly learning about resiliency. I also had an experience where a new person came into my life just recently and after being with him a few times, realized he was an energy drainer and I let go of him very quickly. If this would have happened before Covid I probably would’ve allowed it to drag on longer, but I realize how precious time is.

The resurgence of antisemitism has resurfaced during Covid and that’s why performing my storytelling show now is so important!  In one of my stories I share how
I’ve been the recipient of hatred being Jewish and learning at age 7  I was a “dirty Jew”and believing it for 50 years, but I also show most of the traumas I’ve untangled and healed I’ve had to do from a place of love and I continue to do so.

I know if there is a revolution it has to originate from a place of love, inclusion, truth and courage, and if not, I will have to live in a place that believes in freedom, such as NYC.  Right now, Jon Batiste song “Freedom” comes to mind.  First that freedom has got to come from within in order to set ourselves free.

May we come to our senses and realize we need one another!