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Let’s talk about love-also on audio-

Autumn in New York City!! It’s a season of love, but in a different, more reflective way than Spring.  And it got me thinking.  Have you ever noticed that there is a popular way of talking about relationships these days?  People say they are going to “invest” in a relationship.  And the way they use the word invest is a newer economic one.  To invest is to expend money with the expectation of achieving a profit or material result.

But love is not primarily an investment.  True, in a healthy relationship one can hope for–indeed, even expect–love to be reciprocated.  Is it okay to devote one’s time, effort, or energy to another with the expectation of a worthwhile result (being loved in return, a healthy relationship, etc.)  But self-gain or being loved in return cannot be our primary motivation loving someone.  The best loves are loves that love for the other’s sake.

It sounds strange, but loves is not about love.  It’s about the person you love.  Can you be there for  them when the going gets rough?  Do you have their back?  Do you love them for who they are, despite their faults?  Is there give and take, or is there only take?  Is your love all about material goods–a kind of “I’ll give to you if you give to me”arrangement–or is it self-giving, vulnerable and honest?

This autumn in New York City (where I happen to live), but throughout everywhere, may our loves never be selfish.  May they strive to bless and encourage others before ever seeking something for ourselves in return.  May our love never be tainted with self-centerdness or narcissism.  For only then will we finally forget ourselves, and get lost in the beauty of another person.

And only when we are lost in the beauty of another person, to the point of almost forgetting our needs and desires, are we truly in love.  Autumn and first-dates and romance are just so much better when they’re not about us.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, October 20th, 2012 at 10:59 am and is filed under Clients, Friends and Colleagues. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One Response to “Let’s talk about love-also on audio-”

  1. Newton Dority Says:

    Marc & Angel – I am a daily reader and you both have inspired and help change my thought process and actions towards life. I wanted to thank you particularly for this blog and sharing some of your most intimate failures with me. I appreciate it enormously and it makes you both more relate-able as people and not just as the “writers of the blog.” Thanks for all you do, you are more helpful than you realize.

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