The Fragility & Wisdom of Aging and Lovemaking
“One is not born a woman, one becomes one” Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex, l949
I feel loss at the fast approaching aging process that can never be recaptured. What used to work perfectly now has problems. My knees have lost cartilege. I cannot run up and down the stairs. Osteo- Arthritis has created a home in my entire body. I didn’t invite it. It just showed up. Now, I have become an extra good mother, protecting, defending and making corrections with my body when needed.
My body sometimes aches, but I don’t give up! How could I? When I see people running down the stairs or down the block I get jealous and I want to go faster, take long, long hikes, climb mountains, and sometimes I try, but most of the time it just comes down to me fantasizing about it all. I want to take a trip to Thailand to volunteer at an Elephant Sanctuary, and I know it’s not an easy trip, but if I can do it properly (and at this stage who knows what properly is) I am going to do it.
Making love is different for me now. It’s no longer an athletic sport. It has become about taking my time, sensuality, being adventurous and experiencing the sacredness of lovemaking. Experiencing the total joy, love and aliveness of being in the moment. During this time, I have rubbed up against ecstacy and the Divine. There is a vastness and expansion and freedom and no shame. Abolutely no shame.
I have learned betrayal comes from seeking outside approval. My approval is deep within. I also know that people I love may betray me, but the not needing outside approval informs me of my choices of whom to have in my life. And also, people change.
The depth of my passion, aliveness and authenticity has expanded with aging, and no one can take that away from me. It’s always been there. I’ve become open enough to receive all of these gifts. But don’t get me wrong, with these gifts comes pain. I’ve always taken risks, but when I was younger they were blind risks, now I have the confidence and the knowing to take risks with the knowledge that I could get hurt, but that doesn’t stop me. I realize that I can deal with the pain, and I don’t want to miss out on the experience. It’s proven me right so far.
In my lifetime I haven’t been fortunate to meet up with what I call a “good guy” to be in a relationship with. Oh sure, there have been some good guys that have come through my life but they have been unavailable and I’ve had to move on. Yet, through it all, I have experienced love, Deep, intimate love, and who knows, one of these days, I will meet up with one of those “good guys” for a long, lasting and loving relationship. As the spiritual teacher, Ram Dass, says as the title of his wonderful 40 year old book “Be Here Now”.
Tags: aging, authors, books, love, morning coffee, publicist nyc, publicity nyc, ripe, sherri rosen publicity nyc, spirituality, women
This entry was posted on Monday, November 1st, 2010 at 2:04 pm and is filed under Clients, Friends and Colleagues, Industry News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
January 17th, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Dear Sherri,
Thanks for responding to my most recent poem”Wild Woman” I like this particular piece of yours. Beauvoir has been a mentor of sorts and Ram Dass one of my many spiritual teachers.
Peace , light and love,
Lillian
January 17th, 2011 at 6:00 pm
Thank you Lillian. I appreciate your feedback. Sherri
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July 10th, 2017 at 2:00 am
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